Lessons learned..

Biggest lesson learned is the importance of a simple picture. Pictures speak a thousand words. This picture is very bitter sweet. I wanted the dogs in it because I knew Sadie would not be with us very long. Absolutely heart breaking that the two of them are now gone. (Oh goodness, that was so hard to write.)

I typically sit and think about Clay. From the memories I have of his adventurous life, to the struggles we and he dealt with. I think about his sense of humor and envied the fact that he never held a grudge. He was stubborn yet always forgiving. His idea of living life was one of a kind.

There's no doubt that parenting an independent child like Clay was difficult at times but I believe those times have taught valuable lessons not just to myself, Mick & Michayla but to my sister, my folks & my close friends.

Clay taught me that parents (myself) are not always right nor should they (I) demand to be. That kids have great ideas and need to be heard. That loving with all your heart & soul may not always keep them safe.

I know Mick, Michayla, my folks, sister, brother, in-law's, nieces & other family & friends are hurting. I don't want to take away from their pain and hurt. Clay was a special part of our family and I know that they feel the hurt too.

**Clay and I were a lot alike. I've contemplated writing about this but to those who truly know me, unless I say something, it will eat at me.**

I've been taught that not everyone is thoughtful during times of tragedy. I've had a very hard time with someone choosing to be cruel and hateful during our loss. This tragedy is not just about losing Clay but the huge change that Jaron and his family are facing.
My heart hurts for them all the time. It's so good to know that he is a very strong young man who has that determination in him to overcome anything he is being faced with. What an absolute blessing that is!

Losing a child is the hardest thing a family could go through & I would NOT want this for anyone!! I will not let this person and their family get the better of me.
(Please don't ask me who it is. I'm certain they will read this and know who I'm speaking of, exposing them publicly by name won't happen from me.)

I know that God's healing love can nourish the darkest souls and change even the most barren landscapes into a thing of beauty. I hope that if they ever lose a child or close family member that NO ONE ever makes them feel the way they've made me feel.

Please pray for them to honestly leave us be and pray for me to forgive them and move on.

The pain, the unbelievable pain that our hearts feel every day is the absolute worst pain I've ever known. Most days I don't know what to do with that pain but I know God will heal our brokenness.

God's work is often invisible but the results are truly amazing and I've got to believe that. ❤